SERIOUSLY??? WHY NOW??? WHY???
Moments where the Husband and I stress out, cry and wonder what else could possibly go wrong.
YES. We understand that there is so much to be thankful for- we are truly blessed. But that doesn't mean that sometimes life doesn't give you a swift kick in the "you know where"- to remind you that, "Hey, it isn't all sunshine and rainbows." Well, we live in the desert- so technically it is sunny ALL.THE.TIME. but that isn't the point.
Our financial equilibrium is delicate. Very much so. We don't buy fancy things, or to many of our friends- things that normal people buy and have. We don't own smart phones. We don't have cable. We don't go shopping for clothes-unless something actually breaks and is a necessity(I don't know why I say that- I haven't bought a bra in over two years-and one just literally fell apart last week- the only one that really fit-so sports bras are where it's at right now= to clarify we buy things for the Toddler over essentials for us). Our budget is delicate- we spend about $150 a month on food- that's it(probably why we don't host people as much as we would like).
With the temps in the triple digits for the next four months I knew that our AC bill was going to skyrocket-and I planned accordingly. We made sure that we weren't going to go into crisis mode-like last summer- and that our budget would be able to take the $150 leap each month.
Then life smacked me right on the mouth. How dare I plan a budget?????? ... apparently it took personal offense to the fact that we would be okay this summer and decided to throw THREE large curve-balls at us. In a matter on two days. TWO.
This post is written a week late- because it has taken some time to get used to the fact of our "new normal" situation. One that we will get through- but it will be a struggle- each and every step.
My heart prognosis.
Well, at least I know that I am not crazy anymore. My heart does have problems. My blood pools in-between ventricals which bring on painful- gutwrenchingly so- palpitations and chest pain. I can take medicine to calm it down now- but not the hardcore medicine because that would be dangerous for our little girl. My Doctor wants to perform surgery as soon as I recover from delivering our Baby Girl- the radiation they use during surgery could prove dangerous to the little one. They would go in through my groin- all the way up to my heart and "hunt and peck" to find the abnormal part of my heart and ZAP it- literally- into submission. As great as it sounds to have my heart fixed- possibly. There are two many risk factors to make the surgery an "acceptable" option in my eyes. Sure, everyone around me has their own point of view. But you know what? I want to make my decision, the best decision I can after careful consideration- especially since I have only had three heart episodes(ER hospital stays) in the last nine years. Plus, now there is this medicine I can be on and an aspirin regimen I can follow that would (help) prevent the pooling blood into turning into a clot where a pulmonary embolism or collapsed lung are all too possible realities for me now.
Knowledge is power.
Of course I will get a second opinion I am grateful that I will be lucky enough to have a prescription of nitro available- what has proved useful at each of my ER visits- after our baby girl is born. I am grateful that I know exactly what makes my heart so darn unique. I am grateful to know that I am not crazy. I am grateful to know that there are options. And I plan on exploring those options over the next couple of months.
Living in Arizona- the 6th luckiest state to be effected by the little buggers- termites are just another thing you have to worry about.
Well, as I went into our closet one day last week to grab a new batch of baby wipes I knocked one of the columns(unbeknownst to me) with my head. MY HEAD. An active tube-filled with termites-now was covering my hair and clothes. The neighbors had to think I was being murdered with the noise that engulfed our house for the next couple of minutes. HAD TO.
D thought it was HILARIOUS. Mom is nuts! Best.Day.Ever.
Enter $600 bill to get rid of the buggers. $600 that was to go toward our AC bills over the next couple of months- GONE- just like that. Now we have roughly $30 in our bank account for the next week. One whole week.
AC went out.
JUST LIKE THAT.
You see, many of the people I follow on Twitter complain when their house is in the mid 70s- or their AC goes out and their house is 80 degrees- I just laugh my (sweating) behind off at this.
Until our AC went out.
On a 105 degree day.
Our house hit 95 faster than I thought possible.
Our AC is set for 80 degrees from March through Mid-November, because- well, we live in the desert and 80s is livable.
Well, our AC Unit is 12 years old- the crappiest model on the market and hanging on with a thread- as we navigate our way into the 110s-120s temperatures. If money grew on our palm tree- I would buy the best model on the market. I am sure that our electric bill would decrease immediately... and that perhaps we could put the air at 78 degrees-boy do those two degrees feel like a world of a difference- and my pregnant body wouldn't be swollen by 11AM each day. Lovely. Folks. It is lovely. Poor husband has to see a swollen, barrel each night he gets home. I pity the fool.
As I sit and type this- the AC is making weird noises. My behind is sweaty. My ankles are swollen. And I just hope and pray that it will last until we can find some "fix"- we are looking at refinancing our mortgage- and other various loans against the house... now we just have to cross our fingers that our house appraises at the point we need it to- and then this summer will be bearable. We will be okay. The appraiser came yesterday morning... he wasn't here quite as long as I would have liked... and now we are just waiting.
You see- these posts? These posts are to keep me sane. To let me vent- to let those that know us in the real world why we might not be able to make a trip to see them, or buy their kid the toy that we want to for their birthday... but that we are okay. I swear if we had just a little more of a cushion we would be the friends I know that we are... just really can't show how much we care about other people sometimes.
Seriously, we have the best family, friends and coworkers in the world- just wish we could show our appreciation to you all more often- you deserve it more than you know.
They come in threes. Swiftly. Without cause or concern.