Daily Archives: April 2, 2013
|April 2, 2013||Posted by Holly Marie under Life and Times in our House||
To those of you that stay at home, perhaps you got asked initially… “What do you do all day?”. And for those that are stay at home parents, I know you understand when I say- “We are busy from sun-up to sun-down.” The brave(or inherently idiotic ones-in my opinion) will prod on with, “But what do you do?” For that I just smile, think of how lucky I am to be raising my own children-instead of teaching others at school- and know that they must just not get it. Not their fault, most people in my area don’t. Which is perfectly fine- and I truly mean that.
Teaching and coaching 60 hours a week was one of the hardest and most full-filling jobs I have ever had, save for being a mom. Now that I am a mom, I get it, it is SO much harder than teaching, than coaching, than working 60 hour weeks. And I completely understand why it would be professionally full-filling to continue to foster the minds of young children, to coach them and watch them excel- and even get a lunch break-and bathroom breaks- and silence breaks-gosh knows that I need those. But I chose to stay home. To teach my own children. Foster their growth and abilities. Be there for them.
If that isn’t a good enough answer, I would barely break even with a child in daycare while teaching and coaching-my entire salary and coaching stipend would go toward daycare. BUT my choice wasn’t monetary. If I made a million dollars a year I would still choose to stay home. But to some, those that ask the question above twice, need actual(oh it was for money?) reasons as to why I would choose to stay home. I don’t sit around and eat bon-bons-frankly I’ve never had one in my life. We are truly busy from sun-up to sun-down.
The more I get a hang of this role, the more confident I get with the naysayers in my life. It took months to get over the initial negativity that I encountered in my day-to-day life. I wish I wouldn’t have taken them to heart. In the first two months after D was born- two instances(out of countless examples) still resonate with me. Perhaps because it was so off-putting, but more likely because it shook my new-mom soul to the core. Thankfully, the instances don’t faze me anymore(you bet your sweet bottom they still happen though). I have a thicker skin-and know that women are mean-especially to mom’s-and to just not care anymore. The checkout stand lady that rolled her eyes at me, scoffed and laughed when I said I stay at home, the Hair Stylist(super cheap chain spot) that laughed when I said I stayed at home, mocking me to other women in the “salon”- I cried in the chair-note two grandmother’s that overheard the conversation nodded their heads knowingly trying to show me support. I rarely get my hair cut-usually I make my husband or Mom(if she is in town) trim it. So the one time I am out of the house after having D by myself-to “pamper” myself-I get made fun of.
Frankly, they just must not get it. Otherwise, how cruel.
No male stranger, in my 18 months of being a Mom- has ever asked about my role in the family. Women bashing- we are quite good at hurting each other. Not that that is anything to be proud of.
So to those of you that work AND are a Mom/Parent- BRAVO- we make the best choice for our family and our family alone. To ridicule someone so openly about a lifestyle choice that effects their children is perpetuating the cycle of mom wars, pitting hard-working women against each other. I will never tell a Parent that they are making the wrong lifestyle choice for their children- that is just plain respect.
If you are not a parent yet, then please take heed- do not contribute to the war. Be kind. Understand that until you have children, you will never fully comprehend the myriad of choices that lay before you as you tackle life-changing decisions in regards to your own family. So smile and nod at their answers. Think whatever you like-but just do so silently, in your head. For asking sometimes what you may deem the simplest of questions, can be construed as callous and cruel.