Category: Heart Health

Another Heart to Care For


On Monday we received some bad news.  At his three year well-check we found out that Raymond has a murmur.

My heart sank.  Both babies now have murmurs. Em is healing. And I’ve talked about her heart problems before.

Now Raymond.

I can’t stop myself from wondering if it’s because of me. I have heart abnormalities, although mine wasn’t discovered until pre-op for a cholecystectomy when I was twenty.

Here we are again.  Awaiting another appointment and testing from our beloved Pediatric Cardiologist.

Once more people are kindly trying to erase my fears. I don’t take well to, “Don’t worry-he’ll be fine.” In all reality we don’t know. So please don’t say blanket statements, even out of love.





Please send good thoughts and prayers. Simple, sweet, and much needed right now in our house.

Waiting to Exhale

The past few months have been full of stress. I have stayed up countless nights.  

I cried.
I fell apart.
I kept it hidden.

Shielding my two little ones from the reality of what was going on was essential in my mind.  They were two and nearly one- clearly they were not going to understand why Mom was so upset about health concerns.

I am DONE. Done putting on a brave face and pretending that everything is fine.




For the past few months cancer has been thrown around too many times.  The what ifs of surgery for both EM and I have plagued my mind and taken away my couple precious hours of sleep.

No more.

Yesterday we went in for Em’s second phase of heart testing.  After extensive tests we found out(same day) that her tendons are growing back normally and that her hole in her heart is closing ever so slowly.


I just kept waiting for him to say BUT….

He didn’t.  She doesn’t need surgery and we don’t have to go back in until she is two.

There it is.

We are healthy.  I slept through the night for the first time in six months. Bliss.

This morning we celebrated our health with an hour bike ride, getting messy at the park, puddle splashing in flooded sidewalks, sand turtle digging, and masterpieces made of chalk.  I made a conscious effort to take a step back and think about how lucky we are. 

We have everything we need, everyone is happy, AND we are all healthy!

I can breathe again.

I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of the messages, emails, and prayers.  Your support of our little family and this little blog means more to me than you will ever know.

Thank you.

They Come in Threes

The last two weeks have been full of-



Moments where the Husband and I stress out, cry and wonder what else could possibly go wrong.

YES. We understand that there is so much to be thankful for- we are truly blessed.  But that doesn’t mean that sometimes life doesn’t give you a swift kick in the “you know where”- to remind you that, “Hey, it isn’t all sunshine and rainbows.”  Well, we live in the desert- so technically it is sunny ALL.THE.TIME. but that isn’t the point.

Our financial equilibrium is delicate.  Very much so.  We don’t buy fancy things, or to many of our friends- things that normal people buy and have.  We don’t own smart phones.  We don’t have cable.  We don’t go shopping for clothes-unless something actually breaks and is a necessity(I don’t know why I say that- I haven’t bought a bra in over two years-and one just literally fell apart last week- the only one that really fit-so  sports bras are where it’s at right now= to clarify we buy things for the Toddler over essentials for us).  Our budget is delicate- we spend about $150 a month on food- that’s it(probably why we don’t host people as much as we would like).

With the temps in the triple digits for the next four months I knew that our AC bill was going to skyrocket-and I planned accordingly.  We made sure that we weren’t going to go into crisis mode-like last summer- and that our budget would be able to take the $150 leap each month.

Then life smacked me right on the mouth.  How dare I plan a budget?????? … apparently it took personal offense to the fact that we would be okay this summer and decided to throw THREE large curve-balls at us.  In a matter on two days.  TWO.

This post is written a week late- because it has taken some time to get used to the fact of our “new normal” situation.  One that we will get through- but it will be a struggle- each and every step.


My heart prognosis.

Well, at least I know that I am not crazy anymore.  My heart does have problems.  My blood pools in-between ventricals which bring on painful- gutwrenchingly so- palpitations and chest pain.  I can take medicine to calm it down now- but not the hardcore medicine because that would be dangerous for our little girl.  My Doctor wants to perform surgery as soon as I recover from delivering our Baby Girl- the radiation they use during surgery could prove dangerous to the little one.  They would go in through my groin- all the way up to my heart and “hunt and peck” to find the abnormal part of my heart and ZAP it- literally- into submission.  As great as it sounds to have my heart fixed- possibly.  There are too many risk factors to make the surgery an “acceptable” option in my eyes.  Sure, everyone around me has their own point of view.  But you know what?  I want to make my decision, the best decision I can after careful consideration- especially since I have only had three heart episodes(ER hospital stays) in the last nine years.  Plus, now there is this medicine I can be on and an aspirin regimen I can follow that would (help) prevent the pooling blood into turning into a clot where a pulmonary embolism or collapsed lung are all too possible realities for me now.

Knowledge is power.

Of course I will get a second opinion   I am grateful that I will be lucky enough to have a prescription of nitro available- what has proved useful at each of my ER visits- after our baby girl is born.  I am grateful that I know exactly what makes my heart so darn unique.  I am grateful to know that I am not crazy.  I am grateful to know that there are options.  And I plan on exploring those options over the next couple of months.


Termites. YUCK.

Living in Arizona- the 6th luckiest state to be effected by the little buggers- termites are just another thing you have to worry about.

Well, as I went into our closet one day last week to grab a new batch of baby wipes I knocked one of the columns(unbeknownst to me) with my head.  MY HEAD.  An active tube-filled with termites-now was covering my hair and clothes.  The neighbors had to think I was being murdered with the noise that engulfed our house for the next couple of minutes. HAD TO.

D thought it was HILARIOUS.  Mom is nuts! Best.Day.Ever.

Enter $600 bill to get rid of the buggers. $600 that was to go toward our AC bills over the next couple of months- GONE- just like that.  Now we have roughly $30 in our bank account for the next week.  One whole week.


AC went out.


You see, many of the people I follow on Twitter complain when their house is in the mid 70s- or their AC goes out and their house is 80 degrees- I just laugh my (sweating) behind off at this.

Until our AC went out.
On a 105 degree day.
Our house hit 95 faster than I thought possible.

Our AC is set for 80 degrees from March through Mid-November, because- well, we live in the desert and 80s is livable.

Well, our AC Unit is 12 years old- the crappiest model on the market and hanging on with a thread- as we navigate our way into the 110s-120s temperatures.  If money grew on our palm tree- I would buy the best model on the market.  I am sure that our electric bill would decrease immediately… and that perhaps we could put the air at 78 degrees-boy do those two degrees feel like a world of a difference- and my pregnant body wouldn’t be swollen by 11AM each day.  Lovely. Folks.  It is lovely.  Poor husband has to see a swollen, barrel each night he gets home.  I pity the fool.

As I sit and type this- the AC is making weird noises.  My behind is sweaty.  My ankles are swollen. And I just hope and pray that it will last until we can find some “fix”- we are looking at refinancing our mortgage- and other various loans against the house… now we just have to cross our fingers that our house appraises at the point we need it to- and then this summer will be bearable.  We will be okay.  The appraiser came yesterday morning… he wasn’t here quite as long as I would have liked… and now we are just waiting.

You see- these posts? These posts are to keep me sane.  To let me vent- to let those that know us in the real world why we might not be able to make a trip to see them, or buy their kid the toy that we want to for their birthday… but that we are okay.  I swear if we had just a little more of a cushion we would be the friends I know that we are… just really can’t show how much we care about other people sometimes.

Seriously, we have the best family, friends and coworkers in the world- just wish we could show our appreciation to you all more often- you deserve it more than you know.

They come in threes.  Swiftly.  Without cause or concern.