Monthly Archives: May 2011

Maternity Clothes

Ok so as of today my entire outfit consists of maternity clothes.  Maternity jeans, flowy tops, XXL bras… oh my!  “No students have said anything.” I keep telling my Grandma, Nani each time I talk to her about my growing mid-section.  Although, my students are awfully sweet and I don’t think they would say anything if they suspected anyways.

I am going to miss my students so much!  This year has been so wonderful!  I was blessed with students that truly care about one-another.

I did have a hard time going and getting clothes this weekend.  There are not too many cute clothes that you can wear to work comfortably, well, at least to teach in all day.  One more week until this school year is done and I will be in dresses for the rest of this pregnancy!  Let the countdown BEGIN!


Please vote for the poll… Boy or Girl???

We registered!

So this weekend we got up early(like usual now) and went to Target to register for baby things… non-color specific because we don’t know the sex of the baby yet.  We tried to register for the “essentials”.  We have used our friend’s advice and only registered for practical things… along with a couple of “gosh darn cute” things.  After weeding through the aisles and making some tough choices… we moved on to Babies R Us across the street.

Much more overwhelming than the 8 aisles at Target, B.R.U more than once made me start to hyperventilate. Gabe, the great guy that he is, was in charge of a hormonally challenged, overwhelmed, pregnant lady with the beginning of a cold.  Poor guy.  Babies are expensive.  FYI.  They are cute, worth it I know, but man are they expensive.  So we went through aisle after aisle of the entire store and picked out our essentials.

The clock started ticking in my head at this time.  We are not moved into a house, yet.  We do not have a closing date, yet.  We have not ordered a crib, yet.  We only have 180 days left of this pregnancy before baby arrives and if you know me, and I assume that you do, because you are reading this blog then you know that I hate to wait to the last minute to get things done.  I want them done right away.  No procrastination here!  I want there to be paint on the walls, boxes of stuff put away from the move, and everything in place before it gets really difficult in the third trimester.  Most importantly I DO NOT WANT TO LIVE IN AN APARTMENT!!! This may be asking for a lot… but I can no longer endure smoke filled rooms, parties at night, and cops being called every weekend!  I do not want to bring a baby into that environment.  Alright, stressful venting done. Check!

So as I was saying we are registered… we will update the list when we find out the sex of the baby in the next five weeks.

13 Weeks! EXACTLY!

How far along? 13 weeks

Maternity Clothes? LOVING DRESSES! I only have a certain amount of clothes I can wear to work now… only 3 weeks left!

Stretch Marks: Using lotion. Trying to trick heredity, still.

Sleep: 10pm-5am

Best Moment This/Last Month: Being pampered on Mommy-to Be day! AND  hearing the baby’s HEARTBEAT!!!!

Movement: Not yet!

Food Cravings: I HATE FOOD. enough said.

Gender: Will find out in 1 month

Labor Signs: None

Belly Button in or out?  In

Wedding rings on/off?  On

What I miss: My back and hips feeling normal… 

What I am looking forward to: Baby’s Gender!

Milestones:  we have a house… <3 kind of…

Horrible Circumstances

If you were updated about this last Saturday’s events by myself or my mother then you know how horrible I feel.  I was yelled at by someone who I have tried to be kind to and who I loved.  This woman said the worst thing you could ever say to a soon-to-be-mother on the face of this earth.  And for that I will never forgive her nor will I ever forget the years of suffering I have endured trying to make her “like” me.  Her words were pure evil and I can only hope that if there is a God that she will get exactly what she deserves in the end. No more, no less.  I have tried to understand how a group of people can be so vehemently mean without cause to one another.  Each event consists of screams, tears, slamming of doors and as quickly as the storm excalated it is over.  Both parties never utter one syllabul of an apology because it is supposed to be an unspoken bond.  And yet words as small or as large as they are can hurt; but just as much as they can hurt, they can heal those heart-strings that have been yanked out chord by chord.  Too many times I have trusted my heart foolishly in their hands.  Fool me once, shame on me.  Fool me twice… well, you get the picture.

Writing this has been part of the grieving process.  I have lost a part of myself I never imagined losing.  But through the writing of the turmoil and the darkness I know I can survive this.  I have an amazing support system of kind, caring and loving family that understands the hell that was this Saturday.  I will come out of this stronger and will never again let myself be hurt by those that pretend to love me.

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